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Cemetery Desecrator Cemetery Desecrator exiles a card from a graveyard when it enters or dies, then either removes X counters from a permanent or gives a creature X/X, where X is the exiled cards mana value
Of course, you miss out on the adventure if you have to just run this out as a land first, but thats nothing a good ol Kor Skyfisher cant help with
Removed UM01 Tusken Bantharider
Of course, the Black Lotus has reached the millions in value in private sales, but those are also typically graded copies that have been well preserved for years.
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